


an incomplete log of absurd wizarding texts

by beeezie



Series: sidenote is 20/20 [21]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (maybe), F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Good Slytherins, Harry Potter Next Generation, Illegal Activities, Sexting, Texting, but they do that too, chatfic, friends being bad fucking influences, they create disaster even when they're not blowing things up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:41:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22661920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beeezie/pseuds/beeezie
Summary: Theoretically, you should never document your crimes and misdeeds in text messages. On the other hand, though, it's super convenient.chatfic | entry in justawillowtree's 'Unreliable Narrator' challenge at HPFT
Relationships: Fred Weasley II/Original Female Character(s), Teddy Lupin/Victoire Weasley, Victoire Weasley/Original Male Character(s)
Series: sidenote is 20/20 [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880218
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	1. November 27, 2016

**Author's Note:**

  * For [justawillowtree](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justawillowtree/gifts), [maraudertimes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maraudertimes/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fred: btw, told micah and lexy that you guys were hooking up

_The following are a series of messages exchanged between Fred Weasley, Victoire Weasley, Micah Higgins, Lexy Abbott, and Gallagher Dedworth using Protean charms. They were exchanged between 4:14pm and 11:12pm._

**' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _4:14pm_

 **g.dedworth** : oh baby i miss you so much  
 **g. dedworth** : i want to go dancing with you in the moonlight  
 **g. dedworth** : i'd settle for making out in the greenhouses, though, i've got a key

 **vic** : when?

 **g.dedworth** : tonight? 8:00?

 **vic** : i'm there  
 **vic** : bring a wrapper

 **g.dedworth** : sure, didn't think we were at that stage yet but np  
 **g.dedworth** : bringing earmuffs too so you don't have to listen to my jokes, you seem to like kissing me better when you can't hear me

 **vic** : that's true, i do  
 **vic** : good thinking

* * *

 **'we get away more often than not but are somehow still always in detention'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, LexA, micah, vic)  
** _8:49pm_

 **LexA** : Vic, are you around?

 **micah** : nah, she said she was going to the greenhouses with gallagher

 **LexA** : adorable, what're they gonna steal

 **fred** : nothing, they're just going to bang it out  
 **fred** : my cousin isn't a thief, what's wrong with you

 **LexA** : Uh-huh. Micah?

 **micah** : no fucking idea  
 **micah** : she was super squirrelly, if I didn't know she was super into teddy lupin I might actually believe you, fred

 **LexA** : oh my fucking god  
 **LexA** : you know, he got kind of tense when I mentioned her on the way up to the castle after the match a few weeks ago  
 **LexA** : there's no fucking way but that would be adorable

 **micah** : I caught them looking really cozy at a table in the library last week, too

 **fred** : like I said, they're gonna bang it out  
 **fred** : they're super tight

 **LexA** : Fred EW

 **fred** : OMFG NOT LIKE THAT  
 **fred** : you guys are sick

 **micah** : you're the one who said they were gonna 'bang it out'  
 **micah** : what, did you mean setting off firecrackers?

 **fred** : ....... fair  
 **fred** : fuck off

 **LexA** : if one of you sees her before she sees this, tell her I was looking for her

 **fred** : yep

 **micah** : sure thing

 **micah** : … seriously fred are they hooking up???

 **fred** : yep

* * *

 **'just animated'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, vic)  
** _9:16pm_

 **vic** : aaaand back

 **fred** : how'd your hookup go

 **g.dedworth** : lol

 **fred** : no seriously  
 **fred** : did you do it?

 **vic** : yes, fred  
 **vic** : calm down

 **fred** : btw, told micah and lexy that you guys were hooking up

 **vic** : what

 **g.dedworth** : WHY

 **fred** : lex was looking for you, vic  
 **fred** : had to say something

 **vic** : how about "haven't seen her"

 **g.dedworth** : it's a time-honored classic

 **vic** : "I think they snuck into hogsmeade"  
 **vic** : anything

 **g.dedworth** : well ideally not sneaking into hogsmeade  
 **g.dedworth** : i'd rather minimize written evidence of rule breaking  
 **g.dedworth** : fucking gryffindors/ravenclaws/hufflepuffs

 **fred** : you set up an illicit rendezvous in writing

 **g.dedworth** : well yeah  
 **g.dedworth** : but like does that really count?

 **vic** : seriously fred anything  
 **vic** : what if it gets back to teddy

 **g.dedworth** : good fuck vic teddy could use with a little fucking jealousy

 **fred** : that's actually a really good point, g  
 **fred** : exactly what i was thinking

 **vic** : no you weren't

 **fred** : prove it  
 **fred** : you did though right?

 **vic** : YES

 **g.dedworth** : YES

* * *

 **(LexA, vic)  
** _9:29pm_

 **vic** : fred said you were looking for me?

 **LexA** : yea  
 **LexA** : first though were you and Gallagher actually hooking up  
 **LexA** : or were you just stealing something

 **vic** : long story  
 **vic** : no we weren't hooking up  
 **vic** : it was just a thing he wanted for a potions experiment

 **LexA** : Micah's right  
 **LexA** : you are being squirrelly

 **vic** : just please don't mention it to teddy okay?

 **LexA** : wtf Vic

 **vic** : what's up though?

 **LexA** : I was just wondering whether you'd finished your magizoology yet  
 **LexA** : stuck on the fourth question

 **vic** : ughhh fuck, no not yet  
 **vic** : I'll tell you when I'm on it though

 **LexA** : thanks <3

* * *

 **(g.dedworth, micah)  
** _9:31pm_

 **micah** : dude what were you guys doing  
 **micah** : seriously

 **g.dedworth** : nothing  
 **g.dedworth** : ask vic, she likes you more than i do

 **micah** : 1) don't be a dick  
 **micah** : 2) I already did, she lives in my fucking house

 **g.dedworth** : well, what'd she say?

 **micah** : not much before she rushed upstairs  
 **micah** : god fucking damnit you both suck

 **g.dedworth** : well i dunno about both of us

 **micah** : wut

 **g.dedworth** : gotta finish homework

* * *

 **micah, LexA  
** _9:35pm_

 **micah** : gallagher basically said that she blew him  
 **micah** : pretty sure he was joking but wtf

 **LexA** : ughhh Idfk, all three of them are the worst

* * *

 **(g.dedworth, LexA)  
** _9:37pm_

 **LexA** : gallagher what the hell

 **g.dedworth** : lex it's really nothing, fred's just a dick  
 **g.dedworth** : my dick was safely in my pants

 **LexA** : ugh not a mental image I needed  
 **LexA** : thanks for that  
 **LexA** : ughhh

 **g.dedworth** : anytime happy to help

* * *

 **'just animated'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, vic)  
** _9:39pm_

 **g.dedworth** : fred, i fucking hate you

 **vic** : YES

 **fred** : so I'm sort of sorry but also really amused

* * *

 **'we get away more often than not but are somehow still always in detention'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, LexA, micah, vic)  
** _9:45pm_

 **micah** : guys seriously

 **fred** : don't worry about it  
 **fred** : they just needed to get it out of their systems

 **vic** : FRED  
 **vic** : g and I did not have sex

 **fred** : anyway so I have a more serious question. do you guys think it would be more or less conspicuous if I just ran through the hallway swinging a battle axe over my head OR if I alternated between doing that and carrying it normally

 **LexA** : well  
 **LexA** : on one hand, the first one sounds terrifying  
 **LexA** : but on the other hand, the second one sounds more intentional, which I think is creepier somehow

 **micah** : def the second  
 **micah** : it's the wtf factor  
 **micah** : like, that's insane and deranged

 **fred** : I see your point

 **LexA** : the other thing is that like how far would you be running?

 **vic** : that's a solid point, lex  
 **vic** : like do you have an option anyway? battle axes are heavy af

 **fred** : good point  
 **fred** : what if I was returning the battle axe to like a professor or something

 **micah** : I'd wanna know what professor gave you a battle axe

 **fred** : this is all theoretical  
 **fred** : I don't actually have a battle axe  
 **fred** : I'm just trying to plan in case I get one

 **g.dedworth** : what the fuck conversation did I just open up

 **micah** : just be grateful we've stopped speculating about your love life

 **g.dedworth** : k  
 **g.dedworth** : that's definitely what i'm going to take away from this conversation  
 **g.dedworth** : first one is worse btw  
 **g.dedworth** : second one is more in control and can probably be reasoned with  
 **g.dedworth** : first one is probably just a gryffindor who got super high on like pixie dust or some shit

 **fred** : I want to disagree but I feel like you're probably not wrong

 **vic** : ughhhh I need a time turner to get all this fucking homework done

 **micah:** I told you taking two newts from goldstein was insane

 **fred** : yeah this is why I only took defense against the dark arts from him

 **LexA** : yeah I'm only doing magizoology bc I knew I couldn't deal with that shit

 **g.dedworth** : aww sweetie me too  
 **g.dedworth** : wanna be my study buddy

 **vic** : sure  
 **vic** : library tomorrow?

 **g.dedworth** : sure, before or after curfew? ;)

 **micah** : ?

 **LexA** : are you guys kidding me

 **g.dedworth** : ours is a confusing and ambitious love

 **LexA** : you definitely just tossed random adjectives on that

 **g.dedworth** : balderdash

 **micah** : wtf you guys

 **vic** : seriously though guys don't tell teddy

 **micah** : are you fucking kidding me  
 **micah** : I don't even really fucking know teddy, vic  
 **micah** : gallagher and fred are the ones who know teddy

 **vic** : oh  
 **vic** : good point  
 **vic** : don't tell your sister, please, g

 **g.dedworth** : anything for you vic

 **vic** : <3

 **LexA** : ughhhh I hate you both

 **micah** : don't leave fred out

 **LexA** : good point  
 **LexA** : all three of you

 **fred** : what did I do?

 **LexA** : really?

 **vic** : seriously fred?

 **g.dedworth** : come the fuck on

 **micah** : fred are you fucking kidding me

 **LexA** : that's what you're fucking going with?

 **fred** : you guys are no fun  
 **fred** : good thing g and vic made their own fun though

 **vic** : FRED

 **g.dedworth** : please don't diminish our connection with such crass language

 **vic** : GALLAGHER

 **micah** : yeah you definitely didn't fuck

 **LexA** : wtf were you doing then

 **g.dedworth** : finding love in a hopeless place

 **vic** : hopeless is right

 **g.dedworth** : i take offense  
 **g.dedworth** : i was at least adequate  
 **g.dedworth** : for what we were doing  
 **g.dedworth** : we are not dead

 **vic** : you were very well prepared

 **micah** : wtf

 **LexA** : ???????

 **fred** : it's all very star crossed lovers

 **vic** : should've known better than to trust fred

 **g.dedworth** : def  
 **g.dedworth** : will be more careful in the future

 **LexA** : ughhh you three are the worst

 **micah** : victoire stop hiding in your dormitory and get the fuck down here  
 **micah** : I'll send your sister up

 **vic** : oh fine  
 **vic** : calm down

 **g.dedworth** : that's what you said to me, too

 **vic** : not enough eye rolls in my soul for you  
 **vic** : baby

 **g.dedworth** : <3

 **micah** : VICTOIRE

 **vic** : coming, coming  
 **vic** : g do not say it  
 **vic** : I will kill you

 **g.dedworth** : well isn't it called a little death in french

 **vic** : omg yes  
 **vic** : oh my god micah don't shout i'm fucking coming

 **g.dedworth** : god micah don't interrupt her

 **LexA** : I cannot

 **fred** : you guys are so cute  
 **fred** : best couple in hogwarts

* * *

 **'just animated'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, vic)  
** _10:37pm_

 **fred** : seriously though vic  
 **fred** : definitely let g say something to gillian  
 **fred** : to get teddy jealous

 **g.dedworth** : if you want me to consider it done  
 **g.dedworth** : you def should

_10:50pm_

**g.dedworth** : ugh micah must still be interrogating her

 **fred** : I'm sure

 **g.dedworth** : ugh  
 **g.dedworth** : your fault

 **fred** : I know I started it but don't fuck with me  
 **fred** : you didn't help yourselves at all

 **g.dedworth** : fair  
 **g.dedworth** : it was funny though

 **fred** : you did do the thing though right?

 **g.dedworth** : YES, fred  
 **g.dedworth** : you realize that seeming super invested in whether your cousin and your friend fucked is super weird, right?

 **fred** : not illegal to be super weird

 **g.dedworth** : accurate statement

_10:58pm_

**vic** : goddamnit fred  
 **vic** : give me a sec

_11:03pm_

**vic** : idk making teddy jealous on purpose is idk  
 **vic** : i don't want to make... i dunno  
 **vic** : i mean what would you say?

 **g.dedworth** : dunno, prob something like there being rumors that we're dating

 **vic** : fred, what do you think?

 **fred** : fucking DO IT  
 **fred** : I'm serious

 **vic** : okay fine

 **fred** : you did though right?

 **vic** : FRED  
 **vic** : YES  
 **vic** : WE GOT ENOUGH

 **fred** : okay  
 **fred** : good  
 **fred** : make teddy jealous though definitely, g

 **g.dedworth** : why am i friends with you

 **vic** : you have no one to blame but yourself

 **g.dedworth** : fair  
 **g.dedworth** : fuck that was funny

 **vic** : god i was cracking the fuck up

 **fred** : you're welcome

 **g.dedworth** : fred don't even start


	2. December 10, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **g.dedworth:** when we get sick it's because bad cells come in from somewhere else and then we have cells that fight them gladiator style

_The following are a series of messages exchanged between Fred Weasley, Victoire Weasley, Micah Higgins, Lexy Abbott, Gallagher Dedworth, and Juliet Vales using Protean charms. They were exchanged between 10:49am and 4:33pm._

**'we get away more often than not but are somehow still always in detention'  
** **(fred, g **.dedworth, LexA, micah, vic** )  
** _10:49am_

****g.dedworth**** : just putting this out here  
 ** **g.dedworth**** : i am not always in detention

 **fred** : yes you fucking are

_11:27am_

****micah**** : okay so, I have a question  
 **micah** : say your roommate is going to have sex with you in the room  
 **micah** : would you rather them do it across the room  
 **micah** : or on the top bunk of a bunkbed that you share?

 **LexA** : ….. what inspired this question??

 **micah** : curiosity

 **g.dedworth** : how hot is my roommate and the person they're fucking  
 **g.dedworth** : and do they mind me watching

 **LexA** : GALLAGHER

 **g.dedworth** : they're the ones choosing to fuck in front of me  
 **g.dedworth** : i think it's a valid question

 **micah** : interesting point  
 **micah** : I'll allow it

 **vic** : can we just leave the room?

 **micah** : nope, gotta choose one  
 **micah** : average hotness, g

 **g.dedworth** : across the room  
 **g.dedworth** : then if it's not worth it to watch i can make them uncomfortable enough to stop fucking in front of me

 **vic** : top bunk  
 **vic** : then i can cast a silencing charm and try to ignore them

* * *

**'it's not technically against the rules'  
** **(fred, vic)  
** _11:48am_

**vic** : pointing out that you did this to me

 **fred** : oh fuck off how many times do i have to apologize  
 **fred** : it's not my fault my girlfriend shares a dormitory with you  
 **fred** : or that your class got canceled

 **vic** : k  
 **vic** : but also good fuck

 **fred** : fair, I'm sorry  
 **fred** : again  
 **fred** : will you shut up about it now?

* * *

**'we're just animated'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, vic)  
** _2:10pm_

**g.dedworth** : are you free to study in the library tonight after dinner?

 **fred** : sure, if I won't be interrupting you two lovebirds

 **g.dedworth** : oh, fuck off  
 **g.dedworth** : lex is still asking me about that, you know

 **vic** : oh fuck them  
 **vic** : micah is still asking me  
 **vic** : not here for this divide and conquer shit

 **g.dedworth** : at least they're dividing and conquering correctly now

 **fred** : did you talk to gill, g?

 **g.dedworth** : oh i did! hopefully she mentions it to teddy

 **vic** : was this a good idea?

 **fred** : yes, vic  
 **fred** : it's fine  
 **fred** : and yes to library after dinner  
 **fred** : doing stuff with jules before that though

 **g.dedworth** : speaking of fucking

 **fred** : oh fuck off  
 **fred** : I mean, pretty accurate, but still

 **vic** : what if he gets jealous?  
 **vic** : what if he doesn't get jealous??

 **g.dedworth** : he's def going to get jealous  
 **g.dedworth** : which is good

 **vic** : is that being… i dunno, mean or something?

 **g.dedworth** : look if just seeing you with another dude he knows you're friends with is enough to make him jealous  
 **g.dedworth** : he deserves to feel jealous

 **fred** : slytherin logic at its finest, ladies and gentlemen

* * *

 **'be the lethifold to my nundu'  
** ( **g.dedworth, LexA, micah** )  
 _2:54pm_

 **LexA** : okay, seriously how the fuck are you both handling both Goldstein classes  
 **LexA** : he's a fucking nightmare  
 **LexA** : like I love him  
 **LexA** : but he sucks

 **g.dedworth** : ambition slytherin blah blah blah

 **vic** : i get bored easily

 **g.dedworth** : that's a much better answer

 **LexA** : vic, you've gotta find a better way of dealing with boredom  
 **LexA** : eventually life will be a little boring sometimes

 **vic** : i'm working on avoiding that

 **g.dedworth** : idk - my brother van is almost never bored  
 **g.dedworth** : so i'm not sure it's totally unavoidable

 **LexA** : isn't he in that dangerous creatures department, though?  
 **LexA** : like, i heard that that's a whole new level of stress  
 **LexA** : boredom might be preferable

 **vic** : ohhhh!  
 **vic** : goldstein told me to check that out

 **g.dedworth** : oh you should definitely talk to van and viv  
 **g.dedworth** : they fucking love their jobs there

 **LexA** : you have way too many siblings, G

 **g.dedworth** : five isn't too many  
 **g.dedworth** : it's the perfect amount

 **LexA** : how'd they all end up doing dangerous shit??

 **g.dedworth** : they're easily bored

 **LexA** : seriously, Gallagher?

 **g.dedworth** : seriously though vic, come by over the holidays and talk to them

 **vic** : i will

* * *

**' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _3:08pm_

**g.dedworth** : omg let me talk to gill  
 **g.dedworth** : sometimes her friends come by for an evening  
 **g.dedworth** : we can coordinate so they overlap

 **vic** : oh god

* * *

**'just animated'  
** **(vic, fred, g.dedworth)  
** _3:10pm_

**g.dedworth** : fred, thoughts on trying to arrange vic coming over to talk to v&v while gill is hosting her friends

 **fred** : OH MY GOD YES  
 **fred** : will she have them over?? that's brilliant  
 **fred** : fucking slytherins man

 **vic** : you're both super invested in this

 **fred** : because you are  
 **fred** : and you hide it  
 **fred** : so we've gotta do it for you

 **g.dedworth** : besides, isn't this what true love is, baby  
 **g.dedworth** : matchmaking you with another dude?

 **vic** : that is not what true love is  
 **vic** : at all

 **g.dedworth** : damn, back to the drawing board  
 **g.dedworth** : really thought i'd nailed it

 **fred** : g, word of advice re: nailing things  
 **fred** : your dick is not a pencil  
 **fred** : don't use it like one

 **g.dedworth** : oh my god fred

 **vic** : FRED  
 **vic** : thanks though  
 **vic** : it's possible that i sometimes pretend i don't have feelings when i do

 **fred** : possible??

 **g.dedworth** : sure vic "possible"

 **vic** : i do actually want to talk to van and viv, though

 **g.dedworth** : even better

 **vic** : what if teddy thinks that i like danger too much or something  
 **vic** : he got very tense about the banshee thing  
 **vic** : i just mentioned it offhand, it wasn't a big thing

 **fred** : vic, a banshee is not something it's possible to mention "offhand"  
 **fred** : it's a fucking banshee

 **vic** : she

 **fred** : fine, she's a fucking banshee  
 **fred** : trying to mention her offhandedly makes it way more alarming  
 **fred** : to keep people from flipping out, you've gotta just say you met her flat out

 **g.dedworth** : you're both too close to this

* * *

**'we get away more often than not but are somehow still always in detention'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, LexA, micah, vic)  
** _3:22pm_

**g.dedworth** : lex, micah, question

 **LexA** : ?

 **micah** : what's up?

 **g.dedworth** : how would you respond if i said that i met a banshee

 **LexA** : OH MY FUCKING GOD  
 **LexA** : gallagher stay away from fucking banshees  
 **LexA** : fred was GREEN  
 **LexA** : like literally there was a patch of skin on his face that was GREEN

 **fred** : it wasn't that bad

 **LexA** : you didn't get detention

 **fred** : ??

 **LexA** : you wandered into the forbidden forest  
 **LexA** : in the middle of the night  
 **LexA** : and goldstein and longbottom didn't give you detention

 **fred** : ??

 **vic** : ehhhhhh i mean that's fair, fred  
 **vic** : goldstein told me flat out that he didn't give us detention because he wanted to make sure we came to him for shit like that in the future

 **fred** : I guess  
 **fred** : Idk in hindsight she seemed nice enough  
 **fred** : I don't think she meant to hurt me

 **LexA** : NO  
 **LexA** : STAY AWAY FROM BANSHEES  
 **LexA** : YOU ARE BOTH INSANE  
 **LexA** : I WILL STEAL YOUR WANDS AND TIE YOU UP

 **micah** : I'm gonna have to go with lex  
 **micah** : like with fewer all caps, but fred was in the hospital wing for a week  
 **micah** : seriously, gallagher, stay away from banshees

 **LexA** : gallagher tell me you're joking

 **g.dedworth** : of course i didn't actually do that  
 **g.dedworth** : the fuck do you take me for  
 **g.dedworth** : just wanted to prove a point

 **LexA** : oh thank fuck

 **micah** : seriously  
 **micah** : this group can't take a third person with no common sense

 **g.dedworth** : i'm offended  
 **g.dedworth** : i'm a fucking slytherin  
 **g.dedworth** : i've got common sense

 **fred** : welllllll  
 **fred** : i know a couple slytherins with no common sense

 **g.dedworth** : exceptions that prove the rule

 **vic** : and you're one of them

* * *

**'the semi-sensible ones'  
** **(g.dedworth, LexA, micah)**

_3:38pm_

**LexA** : not to belabor the point  
 **LexA** : but to belabor the point  
 **LexA** : seriously, I almost killed them

 **g.dedworth** : yeah i get it

 **LexA** : I'm not sure you do  
 **LexA** : Gallagher he literally looked like half-dead when i saw them  
 **LexA** : it was so creepy

 **g.dedworth** : yeah, he still looked fucked up in the hospital wing  
 **g.dedworth** : they were fine though

 **LexA** : were they?  
 **LexA** : I don't want to be paranoid or anything  
 **LexA** : but I'm definitely not convinced that vic is fine

 **g.dedworth** : ughhh fair  
 **g.dedworth** : very fair

 **LexA** : she looked fine  
 **LexA** : but that's even creepier  
 **LexA** : how'd she get away without getting fucked up like Fred was?

 **micah** : yeah  
 **micah** : def don't fuck with banshees

 **LexA** : a lesson I definitely needed

 **g.dedworth** : yeah that's the stuff they do that i'm just not here for  
 **g.dedworth** : like danger is fine  
 **g.dedworth** : but have there be a fucking reason for it

* * *

**'just animated'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, vic)  
** _3:50pm_

**g.dedworth** : have i made my point?

 **fred** : they're just panicky

 **g.dedworth** : so vic told me she went back to hang out with the banshee

 **fred** : oh my fucking god vic you didn't

 **g.dedworth** : have i made my point?

 **fred** : I hate you

* * *

**' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _3:52pm_

**vic** : ummm  
 **vic** : g  
 **vic** : i didn't tell you that

 **g.dedworth** : i know, i was making the point  
 **g.dedworth** : … wait, have you been going back to hang out with the banshee?

 **vic** : no  
 **vic** : ofc not

 **g.dedworth** : oh my fucking god vic

 **vic** : i haven't, i promise

* * *

**'the semi-sensible ones'  
** **(LexA, micah, g.dedworth)  
** _3:57_

**g.dedworth** : question and you have to promise not to kill me

 **LexA** : I make no such promises

 **micah** : ehhh I'll bite, what?

 **g.dedworth** : do either of you think vic got hotter over the summer?

 **micah** : oh my god, g, stop it

 **LexA** : not doing this

 **g.dedworth** : no, i'm serious

 **micah** : fuck, I don't know  
 **micah** : she's just vic **  
** **micah** : I guess

 **LexA** : not doing this

 **g.dedworth** : lexy i'm serious

 **LexA** : ugh. fine  
 **LexA** : yeah, but don't worry about it  
 **LexA** : it's probably just the veela thing

 **g.dedworth** : not worried  
 **g.dedworth** : just curious

* * *

**'more cleverer than you'  
** **(micah, vic)  
** _4:09pm_

**micah** : so lex feels very strongly about the banshee thing

 **vic** : haha yeah well  
 **vic** : i still think she's perfectly nice

 **micah** : yeahhhh  
 **micah** : about that  
 **micah** : where are you?

 **vic** : dormitory  
 **vic** : why?

 **micah** : come down to the common room  
 **micah** : wanted to talk about something

 **vic** : is this a fun kind of avoiding a paper trail?

 **micah** : just come down

 **vic** : ugh  
 **vic** : on my way down

* * *

**' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _4:11pm_

**vic** : micah wants to talk  
 **vic** : did you say something to him??

 **g.dedworth** : what do you mean?

 **vic** : he literally just told me to come down to the common room to talk

 **g.dedworth** : no idea  
 **g.dedworth** : but vic seriously

 **vic** : of course i haven't  
 **vic** : you need to calm down  
 **vic** : why don't you trust me baby

 **g.dedworth** : tell me i don't need to answer that

 **vic** : oh god on second thought yeah please don't

* * *

( **g.dedworth** , **micah** )  
 _4:13pm_

 **g.dedworth** : are you free rn  
 **g.dedworth** : want your help with the alchemy

 **micah** : about to talk to vic, sorry

 **g.dedworth** : about what?

 **micah** : tell you later

 **g.dedworth** : k

* * *

**' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _4:17pm_

**g.dedworth** : oh good fuck vic

* * *

**'a gryffindor and a slytherin stage an intervention'  
** **(g.dedworth, fred)  
** _4:25pm_

**g.dedworth** : fred, i think we need to stage an intervention

 **fred** : is this just the running joke or is it for real?

 **g.dedworth** : both  
 **g.dedworth** : come meet me - idk, i guess by the quidditch pitch

 **fred** : I'm intrigued  
 **fred** : I'm not cheating on jules though

 **g.dedworth** : damn  
 **g.dedworth** : and here i've been fantasizing about a threeway with you, me, and **vic**

 **fred** : oh my fucking god g  
 **fred** : i hate you

 **g.dedworth** : ah, hate  
 **g.dedworth** : the language of love  
 **g.dedworth** : seriously, though, i don't want this in writing and we need to talk right now

 **fred** : fuck  
 **fred** : all right, on my way

* * *

**'scoring with fred and jules'  
** **(fred, juliet)  
** _4:33pm_

**fred** : hey, jules  
 **fred** : raincheck?  
 **fred** : have to head down to the pitch

 **juliet** : okay  
 **juliet** : why??  
 **juliet** : I thought you didn't have practice today??

 **fred** : I don't  
 **fred** : but gallagher told me to meet him down there

 **juliet** : weird  
 **juliet** : but okay, hope everything's okay with him!

 **fred** : thanks

 **fred** : love you, see you at dinner

 **juliet** : <3 <3 <3 <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should probably update shenanigans


	3. december 10, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fred: slytherin logic at its finest, ladies and gentlemen

__The following are a series of messages exchanged between Fred Weasley, Gallagher Dedworth, Juliet Vales, Lexy Abbott, Micah Higgins, and Victoire Weasley using Protean charm tablets that Fred made because he's a genius._ They were exchanged between 10:49am and 4:33pm._

**'we get away more often than not but are somehow still always in detention'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, **LexA** , **micah** , **vic** )  
** _10:49am_

 ** **g.dedworth**** : just putting this out here  
 ** **g.dedworth**** : i am not always in detention

 **fred** : yes you fucking are

_11:27am_

****micah**** : okay so, I have a question  
 **micah** : say your roommate is going to have sex with you in the room  
 **micah** : would you rather them do it across the room  
 **micah** : or on the top bunk of a bunkbed that you share?

 **LexA** : ….. what inspired this question??

 **micah** : curiosity

 **g.dedworth** : how hot is my roommate and the person they're fucking  
 **g.dedworth** : and do they mind me watching

 **LexA** : GALLAGHER

 **g.dedworth** : they're the ones choosing to fuck in front of me  
 **g.dedworth** : i think it's a valid question

 **micah** : interesting point  
 **micah** : I'll allow it

 **vic** : can we just leave the room?

 **micah** : nope, gotta choose one  
 **micah** : average hotness, g

 **g.dedworth** : across the room  
 **g.dedworth** : then if it's not worth it to watch i can make them uncomfortable enough to stop fucking in front of me

 **vic** : top bunk  
 **vic** : then i can cast a silencing charm and try to ignore them

* * *

 **'it's not technically against the rules'  
** **(fred, vic)  
** _11:48am_

 **vic** : pointing out that you did this to me

 **fred:** oh fuck off i did not  
 **fred:** you walked in on us  
 **fred:** it's not my fault my girlfriend shares a dormitory with you  
 **fred:** or that your class got canceled

 **vic** : k  
 **vic** : but also good fuck

 **fred** : fair, I'm sorry  
 **fred** : again  
 **fred** : will you shut up about it now?

* * *

 **'we're just animated'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, vic)  
** _2:10pm_

 **g.dedworth** : are you free to study in the library tonight after dinner?

 **fred** : sure, if I won't be interrupting you two lovebirds

 **g.dedworth** : oh, fuck off  
 **g.dedworth** : lex is still asking me about that, you know

 **vic** : oh fuck them  
 **vic** : micah is still asking me  
 **vic** : not here for this divide and conquer shit

 **g.dedworth** : at least they're dividing and conquering correctly now

 **fred** : did you talk to gill, g?

 **g.dedworth** : oh i did! hopefully she mentions it to teddy

 **vic** : was this a good idea?

 **fred** : yes, vic  
 **fred** : it's fine  
 **fred** : and yes to library after dinner  
 **fred** : doing stuff with jules before that though

 **g.dedworth** : speaking of fucking

 **fred** : oh fuck off  
 **fred** : I mean, pretty accurate, but still

 **vic** : what if he gets jealous?  
 **vic** : what if he doesn't get jealous??

 **g.dedworth** : he's def going to get jealous  
 **g.dedworth** : which is good

 **vic** : is that being… i dunno, mean or something?

 **g.dedworth** : look if just seeing you with another dude he knows you're friends with is enough to make him jealous  
 **g.dedworth** : he deserves to feel jealous

 **fred** : slytherin logic at its finest, ladies and gentlemen

* * *

 **'be the lethifold to my nundu'  
(g.dedworth, LexA, vic)  
** _2:54pm_

 **LexA** : okay, seriously how the fuck are you both handling both Goldstein classes  
 **LexA** : he's a fucking nightmare  
 **LexA** : like I love him  
 **LexA** : but he sucks

 **g.dedworth** : ambition slytherin blah blah blah

 **vic** : i get bored easily

 **g.dedworth** : that's a much better answer

 **LexA** : vic, you've gotta find a better way of dealing with boredom  
 **LexA** : eventually life will be a little boring sometimes

 **vic** : i'm working on avoiding that

 **g.dedworth** : idk - my brother van is almost never bored  
 **g.dedworth** : so i'm not sure it's totally unavoidable

 **LexA** : isn't he in that dangerous creatures department, though?  
 **LexA** : like, i heard that that's a whole new level of stress  
 **LexA** : boredom might be preferable

 **vic** : ohhhh!  
 **vic** : goldstein told me to check that out

 **g.dedworth** : oh you should definitely talk to van and viv  
 **g.dedworth** : they fucking love their jobs there

 **LexA** : you have way too many siblings, G

 **g.dedworth** : five isn't too many  
 **g.dedworth** : it's the perfect amount

 **LexA** : how'd they all end up doing dangerous shit??

 **g.dedworth** : they're easily bored

 **LexA** : seriously, Gallagher?

 **g.dedworth** : seriously though vic, come by over the holidays and talk to them

 **vic** : i will

* * *

 **' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _3:08pm_

 **g.dedworth** : omg let me talk to gill  
 **g.dedworth** : sometimes her friends come by for an evening  
 **g.dedworth** : we can coordinate so they overlap

 **vic** : oh god

* * *

 **'just animated'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, vic)**

_3:10pm_

**g.dedworth** : fred, thoughts on trying to arrange vic coming over to talk to v&v while gill is hosting her friends

 **fred** : OH MY GOD YES  
 **fred** : will she have them over?? that's brilliant  
 **fred** : fucking slytherins man

 **vic** : you're both super invested in this

 **fred** : because you are  
 **fred** : and you hide it  
 **fred** : so we've gotta do it for you

 **g.dedworth** : besides, isn't this what true love is, baby  
 **g.dedworth** : matchmaking you with another dude?

 **vic** : that is not what true love is  
 **vic** : at all

 **g.dedworth** : damn, back to the drawing board  
 **g.dedworth** : really thought i'd nailed it

 **fred** : g, word of advice re: nailing things  
 **fred** : your dick is not a pencil  
 **fred** : don't use it like one

 **g.dedworth** : oh my god fred

 **vic** : FRED  
 **vic** : thanks though  
 **vic** : it's possible that i sometimes pretend i don't have feelings when i do

 **fred** : possible??

 **g.dedworth** : sure vic "possible"

 **vic** : i do actually want to talk to van and viv, though

 **g.dedworth** : even better

 **vic** : what if teddy thinks that i like danger too much or something  
 **vic** : he got very tense about the banshee thing  
 **vic** : i just mentioned it offhand, it wasn't a big thing

 **fred** : vic, a banshee is not something it's possible to mention "offhand"  
 **fred** : it's a fucking banshee

 **vic** : she

 **fred** : fine, she's a fucking banshee  
 **fred** : trying to mention her offhandedly makes it way more alarming  
 **fred** : to keep people from flipping out, you've gotta just say you met her flat out

 **g.dedworth** : you're both too close to this

* * *

 **'we get away more often than not but are somehow still always in detention'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, LexA, micah, vic)  
** _3:22pm_

 **g.dedworth** : lex, micah, question

 **LexA** : ?

 **micah** : what's up?

 **g.dedworth** : how would you respond if i said that i met a banshee

 **LexA** : OH MY FUCKING GOD  
 **LexA** : gallagher stay away from fucking banshees  
 **LexA** : fred was GREEN  
 **LexA** : like literally there was a patch of skin on his face that was GREEN

 **fred** : it wasn't that bad

 **LexA** : you didn't get detention

 **fred** : ??

 **LexA** : you wandered into the forbidden forest  
 **LexA** : in the middle of the night  
 **LexA** : and goldstein and longbottom didn't give you detention

 **fred** : ??

 **vic** : ehhhhhh i mean that's fair, fred  
 **vic** : goldstein told me flat out that he didn't give us detention because he wanted to make sure we came to him for shit like that in the future

 **fred** : I guess  
 **fred** : Idk in hindsight she seemed nice enough  
 **fred** : I don't think she meant to hurt me

 **LexA** : NO  
 **LexA** : STAY AWAY FROM BANSHEES  
 **LexA** : YOU ARE BOTH INSANE  
 **LexA** : I WILL STEAL YOUR WANDS AND TIE YOU UP

 **micah** : I'm gonna have to go with lex  
 **micah** : like with fewer all caps, but fred was in the hospital wing for a week  
 **micah** : seriously, gallagher, stay away from banshees

 **LexA** : gallagher tell me you're joking

 **g.dedworth** : of course i didn't actually do that  
 **g.dedworth** : the fuck do you take me for  
 **g.dedworth** : just wanted to prove a point

 **LexA** : oh thank fuck

 **micah** : seriously  
 **micah** : this group can't take a third person with no common sense

 **g.dedworth** : i'm offended  
 **g.dedworth** : i'm a fucking slytherin  
 **g.dedworth** : i've got common sense

 **fred** : welllllll  
 **fred** : i know a couple slytherins with no common sense

 **g.dedworth** : exceptions that prove the rule

 **vic** : and you're one of them

* * *

 **'the semi-sensible ones'  
** **(LexA, micah, g.dedworth)  
** _3:38pm_

 **LexA** : not to belabor the point  
 **LexA** : but to belabor the point  
 **LexA** : seriously, I almost killed them

 **g.dedworth** : yeah i get it

 **LexA** : I'm not sure you do  
 **LexA** : Gallagher he literally looked like half-dead when i saw them  
 **LexA** : it was so creepy

 **g.dedworth** : yeah, he still looked fucked up in the hospital wing  
 **g.dedworth** : they were fine though

 **LexA** : were they?  
 **LexA** : I don't want to be paranoid or anything  
 **LexA** : but I'm definitely not convinced that vic is fine

 **g.dedworth** : ughhh fair  
 **g.dedworth** : very fair

 **LexA** : she looked fine  
 **LexA** : but that's even creepier  
 **LexA** : how'd she get away without getting fucked up like Fred was?

 **micah** : yeah  
 **micah** : def don't fuck with banshees

 **LexA** : a lesson I definitely needed

 **g.dedworth** : yeah that's the stuff they do that i'm just not here for  
 **g.dedworth** : like danger is fine  
 **g.dedworth** : but have there be a fucking reason for it

* * *

 **'just animated'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, vic)  
** _3:50pm_

 **g.dedworth** : have i made my point?

 **fred** : they're just panicky

 **g.dedworth** : so vic told me she went back to hang out with the banshee

 **fred** : oh my fucking god vic you didn't

 **g.dedworth** : have i made my point?

 **fred** : I hate you

* * *

 **' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _3:52pm_

 **vic** : ummm  
 **vic** : g  
 **vic** : i didn't tell you that

 **g.dedworth** : i know, i was making the point  
 **g.dedworth** : … wait, have you been going back to hang out with the banshee?

 **vic** : no  
 **vic** : ofc not

 **g.dedworth** : oh my fucking god vic

 **vic** : i haven't, i promise

* * *

 **'the semi-sensible ones'  
** **(g.dedworth, LexA, micah)  
** _3:57_

 **g.dedworth** : question and you have to promise not to kill me

 **LexA** : I make no such promises

 **micah** : ehhh I'll bite, what?

 **g.dedworth** : do either of you think vic got hotter over the summer?

 **micah** : oh my god, g, stop it

 **LexA** : not doing this

 **g.dedworth** : no, i'm serious

 **micah** : fuck, I don't know  
 **micah** : she's just vic  
 **micah** : I guess

 **LexA** : not doing this

 **g.dedworth** : lexy i'm serious

 **LexA** : ugh. fine  
 **LexA** : yeah, but don't worry about it  
 **LexA** : it's probably just the veela thing

 **g.dedworth** : not worried  
 **g.dedworth** : just curious

* * *

 **'more cleverer than you'  
** **(micah, vic)  
** _4:09pm_

 **micah** : so lex feels very strongly about the banshee thing

 **vic** : haha yeah well  
 **vic** : i still think she's perfectly nice

 **micah** : yeahhhh  
 **micah** : about that  
 **micah** : where are you?

 **vic** : dormitory  
 **vic** : why?

 **micah** : come out here  
 **micah** : want to talk about something

 **vic** : is this a fun kind of avoiding a paper trail?

 **micah** : just come out

 **vic** : ugh  
 **vic** : fine

* * *

 **' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _4:11pm_

 **vic** : micah wants to talk  
 **vic** : did you say something to him??

 **g.dedworth** : what do you mean?

 **vic** : he literally just told me he wanted to talk

 **g.dedworth** : no idea  
 **g.dedworth** : but vic seriously

 **vic** : of course i haven't  
 **vic** : you need to calm down  
 **vic** : why don't you trust me baby

 **g.dedworth** : tell me i don't need to answer that

 **vic** : oh god on second thought yeah please don't

* * *

 **(g.dedworth, micah)  
** _4:13pm_

 **g.dedworth** : what're you doing rn  
 **g.dedworth** : want your help with the alchemy

 **micah** : about to talk to vic, sorry

 **g.dedworth** : about what?

 **micah** : tell you later

 **g.dedworth** : k

* * *

 **' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _4:17pm_

 **g.dedworth** : oh good fuck vic

* * *

 **'a gryffindor and a slytherin stage an intervention'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth)  
** _4:25pm_

 **g.dedworth** : fred, i think we need to stage an intervention

 **fred** : is this just the running joke or is it for real?

 **g.dedworth** : both  
 **g.dedworth** : come meet me - idk, i guess by the quidditch pitch

 **fred** : I'm intrigued  
 **fred** : I'm not cheating on jules though

 **g.dedworth** : damn  
 **g.dedworth** : and here i've been fantasizing about a threeway with you, me, and vic

 **fred** : oh my fucking god g  
 **fred** : i hate you

 **g.dedworth** : ah, hate  
 **g.dedworth** : the language of love  
 **g.dedworth** : seriously, though, i don't want this in writing and we need to talk right now

 **fred** : fuck  
 **fred** : all right, on my way

* * *

 **'scoring with fred and jules'  
** **(fred, juliet)  
** _4:33pm_

 **fred** : hey, jules  
 **fred** : raincheck?  
 **fred** : have to head down to the pitch

 **juliet** : okay  
 **juliet** : why??  
 **juliet** : I thought you didn't have practice today??

 **fred** : I don't  
 **fred** : but gallagher told me to meet him down there

 **juliet** : weird  
 **juliet** : but okay, hope everything's okay with him!

 **fred** : thanks  
 **fred** : love you, see you at dinner

 **juliet** : <3 <3 <3 <3


	4. december 24, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fred: did you actually fuck him  
> vic: define fuck

_The following are a series of messages exchanged between Fred Weasley, Victoire Weasley, and Gallagher Dedworth using Protean charm tablets that Fred made because he's a genius. They were exchanged on between 12:58am and 3:38am.  
_

**'it's not technically against the rules'  
** **(fred, vic)  
** _12:58am_

 **vic** : ummm so i just got home from g's

 **fred** : how'd it go?

 **vic** : ummm

 **fred** : ???  
 **fred** : you're killing me here, vic  
 **fred** : don't make me floo over there

 **vic** : it's after midnight  
 **vic** : somebody's parents would kill you

 **fred** : eh probably not  
 **fred** : seriously, though

 **vic** : well it's a long story

 **fred** : ok  
 **fred** : I have time

 **vic** : well, vivian wasn't there  
 **vic** : but van had just gotten in  
 **vic** : and we talked to him for while  
 **vic** : i'm so psyched  
 **vic** : goldstein was right

 **fred** : he often is  
 **fred** : that's why I'm taking DADA even though it's probably not gonna help me

 **vic** : no but what they're doing sounds so cool  
 **vic** : he said his boss was gonna be back for a guest lecture in january  
 **vic** : and they just cleaned out an acromantula nest  
 **vic** : and apparently there are like fucking kappas making a nuisance of themselves

 **fred** : yeah that sound like you  
 **fred** : that's awesome  
 **fred** : did teddy end up being there?

 **vic** : oh! yes  
 **vic** : he was there  
 **vic** : we talked a bit

 **fred** : … and?

 **vic** : oh  
 **vic** : well  
 **vic** : he was definitely jealous  
 **vic** : he knocked on g's door to offer to apparate me home and i'm pretty sure he thought we'd been making out

 **fred** : oh perfect  
 **fred** : fuck the token slytherin is rubbing off on me

 **vic** : also we might have kissed  
 **vic** : sort of  
 **vic** : a little

 **fred** : WHAT  
 **fred** : WAY TO BURY THE FUCKING LEAD

 **vic** : it's not something  
 **vic** : i mean, it happened  
 **vic** : but's not a big deal

 **fred** : … wait, who did you kiss?

 **vic** : g  
 **vic** : it's not a big deal

 **fred** : … so when you said he thought you were kissing  
 **fred** : it's because you were

 **vic** : well  
 **vic** : sort of

 **fred** : VICTOIRE  
 **fred** : expand or I'm coming over

 **vic** : okay, okay  
 **vic** : not really sort of  
 **vic** : just yes

 **fred** : and?

 **vic** : idk

 **fred** : vic, are you kidding me

 **vic** : okay  
 **vic** : okay  
 **vic** : well we were downstairs in his room  
 **vic** : and we'd kind of both been drinking a bit  
 **vic** : and then suddenly we were kissing

 **fred** : is that an 'i wasn't into it' suddenly or an 'i'm deflecting' suddenly?

 **vic** : um. deflecting

 **fred** : define kissing

 **vic** : um. like how do you mean?

 **fred** : you know what I mean

 **vic** : ugh fine. um. it went on for awhile

 **fred** : define awhile

 **vic** : like… i dunno, awhile  
 **vic** : we weren't really done when teddy knocked, he'd just gone to get us another drink  
 **vic** : teddy was offering to apparate me home  
 **vic** : i think i said that already

 **fred** : sure he was

 **vic** : yeah i know  
 **vic** : idk if it was obvious  
 **vic** : i was sitting on g's bed but like he wasn't even in the room

 **fred** : I'm sure it was obvious

 **vic** : ughhh  
 **vic** : i just i don't know  
 **vic** : we'd been drinking  
 **vic** : it seemed like the thing to do

 **fred** : vic, breathe  
 **fred** : you got kind of handsy with one of your friends over the holidays  
 **fred** : it's not that a big deal  
 **fred** : I know you like teddy, but you're not dating him  
 **fred** : cheating is a thing for relationships, not crushes

 **vic** : you don't seem surprised

 **fred** : I actually kind of am, a little  
 **fred** : I guess the best way to put it is that I'm surprised, but if anybody in our group was going to have a drunken make out session, it was probably going to be you two

 **vic** : i don't think he thought it was a big deal, either?

 **fred** : that tracks  
 **fred** : … it was just getting a little handsy, right?

 **vic** : define handsy

 **fred** : did you actually fuck him

 **vic** : no  
 **vic** : well  
 **vic** : define fuck

 **fred** : good fucking god vic  
 **fred** : did he put his dick in you

 **vic** : okay  
 **vic** : no, then  
 **vic** : i dunno why! we were kind of drunk  
 **vic** : and i was kind of excited from talking about the work stuff  
 **vic** : and yeah  
 **vic** : i dunno

 **fred** : breathe  
 **fred** : I can hear you not breathing through the fucking paper

 **vic** : okay

 **fred** : breathe

 **vic** : i'm trying  
 **vic** : but yeah  
 **vic** : so  
 **vic** : that's a thing that happened  
 **vic** : i dunno, go bother gallagher

* * *

 **'a gryffindor and a slytherin stage an intervention'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth)  
** _1:33am_

 **fred** : you still up?

 **g.dedworth** : no

 **fred** : so

 **g.dedworth** : ?

 **fred** : oh for fuck's sake, g, don't make me drag it out of you too

 **g.dedworth** : oh vic  
 **g.dedworth** : did you have to floo over or just threaten to

 **fred** : threaten  
 **fred** : so

 **g.dedworth** : ugh  
 **g.dedworth** : i hate you  
 **g.dedworth** : yeah  
 **g.dedworth** : it's a thing that happened  
 **g.dedworth** : it's whatever

 **fred** : define 'it'

 **g.dedworth** : ask her, she's your cousin

 **fred** : I did  
 **fred** : she told me that it went on for 'awhile', that you were both drunk, and to ask you

 **g.dedworth** : oh for fuck's sake

* * *

 **' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _1:46am_

  
 **g.dedworth** : seriously, vic?

 **vic** : well  
 **vic** : i didn't know what to say  
 **vic** : so i decided to dump it in your lap

 **g.dedworth** : thanks for that

 **vic** : go ahead  
 **vic** : say it

 **g.dedworth** : i've had better things in my lap tonight

 **vic** : i hate you

 **g.dedworth** : you literally told me to say it

 **vic** : i was going to say you've done better things with your tongue tonight  
 **vic** : but you're writing this, not talking

 **g.dedworth** : well, i've also done better things with my fingers tonight

 **vic** : fuck

 **g.dedworth** : ??

 **vic** : no, i just laughed out loud  
 **vic** : my parents are kind of light sleepers  
 **vic** : i don't need them asking me what i'm doing

 **g.dedworth** : what's wrong with "just some casual post-makeout chatting with gallagher"

 **vic** : oh my fucking god g  
 **vic** : they're lax about my curfew and don't care if i stay over at my friends' because they don't think that's a thing with any of you  
 **vic** : i don't need that to change  
 **vic** : or for my mum to take the opportunity to give me the safe sex lecture again

 **g.dedworth** : ha, i got it like 15 minutes after you left

 **vic** : HOW  
 **vic** : your dad was asleep

 **g.dedworth** : yeah  
 **g.dedworth** : but he outsourced that to van years ago  
 **g.dedworth** : he said having the talk five times was enough  
 **g.dedworth** : and van takes it pretty seriously

 **vic** : oh god  
 **vic** : i'm so sorry

 **g.dedworth** : eh  
 **g.dedworth** : worth it  
 **g.dedworth** : he wasn't in the mood to properly deal with it, anyway

 **vic** : oh thank fuck i don't think i woke anyone up

 **g.dedworth** : so what exactly do you want me to say to fred??  
 **g.dedworth** : i can lie and say we were just getting back at him for that shit last month

 **vic** : tempting  
 **vic** : but no, it's fine  
 **vic** : ohhh lie to him and then tell him the truth

 **g.dedworth** : you get a slytherin's fingers in you once and suddenly you're devious

 **vic** : G

 **g.dedworth** : actually or?

 **vic** : no  
 **vic** : not actually  
 **vic** : it just felt like it required some fake indignation

 **g.dedworth** : i'm rolling my eyes at you right now  
 **g.dedworth** : go to bed and stop getting tense

 **vic** : i need to shower first

 **g.dedworth** : thanks for that image  
 **g.dedworth** : definitely what i needed after tonight

 **vic** : well, i do  
 **vic** : my hair is a mess, this shower is going to be a war to untangle it  
 **vic** : which is your fucking fault

 **g.dedworth** : gonna remind you that you kissed me  
 **g.dedworth** : and said "yes" when i asked if this was actually a thing we were doing

 **vic** : listen

 **g.dedworth** : … i'm listening

 **vic** : i was hoping something would come to me  
 **vic** : i've got nothing

 **g.dedworth** : you didn't seem to have trouble getting something to come a few hours ago

 **vic** : oh my god gallagher  
 **vic** : go talk to my cousin

 **g.dedworth** : and i don't know what world you're living in  
 **g.dedworth** : we weren't drunk, we were barely tipsy

 **vic** : well i mean we were drinking

 **g.dedworth** : sure  
 **g.dedworth** : but not that much  
 **g.dedworth:** and half of it was after we'd moved to my bed  
 **g.dedworth** : i.e., we'd already been kissing for awhile

 **vic** : yeah, yeah  
 **vic** : cannot believe you just used i.e. in casual conversation

 **g.dedworth** : get your fingers in a ravenclaw once and suddenly you're a scholar

 **vic** : is that just gonna be your thing now?

 **g.dedworth** : i'll probably be over it by the time we go back to school  
 **g.dedworth** : should i stop?

 **vic** : no  
 **vic** : get a slytherin's fingers in you once and suddenly you'll put up with anything

 **g.dedworth** : HEY

 **vic** : really gonna shower now

 **g.dedworth** : HEY

* * *

 **'a gryffindor is deeply confused'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth)  
** _2:38am_

 **g.dedworth** : your cousin sucks

 **fred** : so based on the vague information I have right now I have to ask  
 **fred** : do you mean that literally or figuratively??

 **g.dedworth** : good question  
 **g.dedworth** : define sucking

 **fred** : I'm developing a lot more empathy for lex and micah suddenly

 **g.dedworth** : HA  
 **g.dedworth** : serves you right

 **fred** : yeah, yeah  
 **fred** : are you both just fucking with me?

 **g.dedworth** : yep

 **fred** : OH FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK  
 **fred** : I hate you both so much

 **g.dedworth** : now that i've gotten that reaction  
 **g.dedworth** : no, we're not just fucking with you

 **fred** : I hate slytherins  
 **fred** : I hate slytherins so much

 **g.dedworth** : for the record, that was her idea  
 **g.dedworth** : not mine

 **fred** : oh for the love of fuck  
 **fred** : remind me to never kiss a slytherin if being a dick is that contagious

 **g.dedworth** : now you're dashing all my dreams  
 **g.dedworth** : i was really hoping we could make a go of it

 **fred** : why are we friends

 **g.dedworth** : bc you're also a dick

 **fred** : pretend that I'm expressing deep, deep indignation

 **g.dedworth** : it's so deep and indignant it could almost reform me  
 **g.dedworth** : not quite though

 **fred** : you are the fucking worst  
 **fred** : look, mostly I just want to know whether this is a 'vic is being cagey bc sometimes vic is cagey' or a 'vic is being cagey bc there's actually something to be cagey about'

 **g.dedworth** : pretty sure the first one  
 **g.dedworth** : really doubt this is going to become a regular thing

 **fred** : not a regular thing, or not a repeat thing?

 **g.dedworth** : oh fuck you

 **fred** : don't even with me  
 **fred** : you're clearly pretty sober now  
 **fred** : and you're annoyingly precise

 **g.dedworth** : oh fuck you  
 **g.dedworth** : i don't fucking know, fred  
 **g.dedworth** : not a regular thing  
 **g.dedworth** : i have no idea if it'll happen again  
 **g.dedworth** : it's not like either of us planned on something happening tonight

 **fred** : have I ever actually asked whether you had a thing for her or did I just assume?

 **g.dedworth** : you have definitely never asked me that  
 **g.dedworth** : it's not really something i actively think about  
 **g.dedworth** : but if we're both in the mood and single, why not

 **fred** : so this isn't going to become a love triangle

 **g.dedworth** : nooooo  
 **g.dedworth** : we are def on the same page  
 **g.dedworth** : she is super into teddy

 **fred** : yeah  
 **fred** : I've noticed

 **g.dedworth** : who def had a pretty decent idea of what we were doing

 **fred** : just to be super clear  
 **fred** : you spent half the evening making out with my cousin and now we're going to gossip about matchmaking her with somebody else?

 **g.dedworth** : seems like it

 **fred** : at 3:00

 **g.dedworth** : i mean if you want to go to bed

 **fred** : I didn't say that

* * *

 **' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _3:08am_

 **vic** : my hair is untangled  
 **vic** : finally

 **g.dedworth** : did i really do that much to mess it up??

 **vic** : i think it really probably was just from rubbing against the pillow  
 **vic** : but i feel like blaming you

 **g.dedworth** : thanks for that  
 **g.dedworth** : really appreciate it  
 **g.dedworth** : you could've gotten on top of me when you noticed it getting tangled  
 **g.dedworth** : you chose not to

 **vic** : valid

 **g.dedworth** : you going to bed? fred and i are about to start gossiping about teddy

 **vic** : did you seriously spend half the night taking my clothes off and then immediately go into matchmaker mode?

 **g.dedworth** : yep

 **vic** : while making jokes about fingering me?

 **g.dedworth** : yep

 **vic** : our friendship is kind of weird, isn't it?

 **g.dedworth** : probably  
 **g.dedworth** : so, bed or gossip?

 **vic** : i'm really am exhausted  
 **vic** : i should get to sleep

 **g.dedworth** : 1) gonna take exhausted as a compliment  
 **g.dedworth** : 2) should isn't "am going to" so i'm going to take that as my answer

* * *

  
 **'we're just animated'  
** **(fred, vic, g.dedworth)  
** _3:20am_

 **g.dedworth** : so  
 **g.dedworth** : matchmaking

 **vic** : you don't know, maybe i was really going to sleep

 **g.dedworth** : nah  
 **g.dedworth** : you have done much worse than stay up too late to assuage your curiosity

 **vic** : assuage, huh?  
 **vic** : get your fingers in a ravenclaw once and suddenly you're a scholar

 **g.dedworth** : hey  
 **g.dedworth** : that's my bit

 **fred** : oh my fucking god  
 **fred** : are you fucking kidding me

 **vic** : maybe

 **g.dedworth** : well

 **fred** : ffs  
 **fred** : i stand by what i said earlier about it not being a big deal  
 **fred** : but also that is way beyond a little handsy

 **vic** : well technically it involved hands

 **fred** : I'm really starting to sympathize with you earlier in the year about jules

 **g.dedworth** : you're sympathizing with all kinds of people tonight

 **fred** : yeah well  
 **fred** : I did not expect that vic getting career advice and making teddy a little jealous was going to take a detour into drunken makeouts with you

 **g.dedworth** : gotta roll with it  
 **g.dedworth** : vic did

 **vic** : i hate you  
 **vic** : so much

 **g.dedworth** : not what your hands said earlier tonight

 **fred** : OH MY GOD STOP  
 **fred** : if this is payback, I've learned my lesson


	5. december 24 - 25, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> g.dedworth: i feel like you're really not listening to me here  
> fred: say something worth listening to and maybe i will

_The following are a series of messages exchanged between Fred Weasley, Gallagher Dedworth, Liz Higgins, Micah Higgins, and Victoire Weasley using Liz's cell phone and Protean charm tablets that Fred made because he's a genius. They were exchanged on between 11:46am on December 24 and 1:10am on December 25.  
_

December 24, 2016

 **'a gryffindor and a slytherin stage an intervention'  
** **(g.dedworth, fred)  
** _11:46am_

 **fred:** hey

 **g.dedworth:** hi

 **fred:** how are you doing?

 **g.dedworth:** fine

_11:56pm_

**g.dedworth:** ftr i didn't plan this  
 **g.dedworth:** she started it  
 **g.dedworth:** it has literally never been something i tried to do

 **fred:** gallagher, for fuck's sake  
 **fred:** I'm not here to get annoyed at you, calm down

 **g.dedworth:** totally calm

 **fred:** sure

 **g.dedworth:** never been calmer

 **fred:** g, vic can make her own decisions  
 **fred:** you don't need to get defensive  
 **fred:** I just wanted to be sure that like - you were okay? I guess?  
 **fred:** since it feels kind of messy

 **g.dedworth:** oh  
 **g.dedworth:** thanks  
 **g.dedworth:** no - i'm really fine  
 **g.dedworth:** it's not messy  
 **g.dedworth:** i actively really do not want to date vic

 **fred:** why?  
 **fred:** just curious

 **g.dedworth:** bc i don't date my friends  
 **g.dedworth:** i just don't  
 **g.dedworth:** vic is one of my closest friends  
 **g.dedworth:** i just can't go there  
 **g.dedworth:** we just kissed once  
 **g.dedworth:** and it was just an impulsive thing on her part  
 **g.dedworth:** like i'm sure it will just be a one-time thing because we were drinking  
 **g.dedworth:** so it's not a big deal  
 **g.dedworth:** and i'm just not going to go there

 **fred:** okay

 **g.dedworth:** so i'm fine

 **fred:** okay

* * *

 **'it's not technically against the rules'  
** **(fred, vic)  
** _12:42pm_

 **vic:** so  
 **vic:** we weren't joking about last night

 **fred:** yeah, vic  
 **fred:** I figured that out

 **vic:** we said it wasn't going to be a whole thing  
 **vic:** sort of, anyway

 **fred:** yeah, vic  
 **fred:** I know

 **vic:** but i'm not totally sure if i want it to just be a one-time thing

* * *

 **' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _2:33pm_

 **vic:** hey, are you around?

 **g.dedworth:** for a few - gill and dad are making a beer run before trivia  
 **g.dedworth:** what's up?

 **vic:** what are you up to later today?

 **g.dedworth:** i'm not sure

_2:38pm_

**g.dedworth:** vic, not super sure how to ask this, but is that an 'i want to come hang out with you, my friend' question or an 'i want you to finger me again' question?

_2:42pm_

**vic:** can it be both?

 **g.dedworth:** yes  
 **g.dedworth:** it definitely can be  
 **g.dedworth:** damnit vic  
 **g.dedworth:** these are not mental images i need in my head before i go upstairs for trivia with my fucking family

 **vic:** oh good  
 **vic:** it's both

 **g.dedworth:** we might be doing something  
 **g.dedworth:** they were tossing around a few ideas  
 **g.dedworth:** ughhh. fuck.

 **vic:** it's okay if you're busy  
 **vic:** really

 **g.dedworth:** i mean  
 **g.dedworth:** now i'd really rather not be  
 **g.dedworth:** let me go talk to them

_2:55pm_

**g.dedworth:** hi to fred  
 **g.dedworth:** i'm assuming he's there  
 **g.dedworth:** you're usually not this good at planning

_3:15pm_

**g.dedworth:** okay, vic  
 **g.dedworth:** so actually a few things  
 **g.dedworth:** got out of some of it  
 **g.dedworth:** so i'll probably be home a little after 8

 **vic:** thanks  
 **vic:** and yeah, fred is here

 **g.dedworth:** yeah  
 **g.dedworth:** i wasn't actually joking about you and planning  
 **g.dedworth:** and i have no idea why you're thanking me  
 **g.dedworth:** it's not like i'm being altruistic

 **vic:** good point  
 **vic:** you did seem to like having your fingers in me

 **g.dedworth:** what gave me away?  
 **g.dedworth:** thought i was being subtle

 **vic:** what are the other things?

 **g.dedworth:** well, i exaggerated the tension with lex and micah a little  
 **g.dedworth:** so they think that you're kind of upset and need emotional support  
 **g.dedworth:** also, no idea wtf goldstein is planning but i guess he's talking to finnigan  
 **g.dedworth:** bc van already knew there was a banshee thing  
 **g.dedworth:** just not that it was you

 **vic:** wait what did he say????

 **g.dedworth:** not much  
 **g.dedworth:** i've really got to go upstairs for trivia  
 **g.dedworth:** i'll let you know when i'm home

 **vic:** okay <3

 **g.dedworth:** <3

* * *

 **'our greatness transcends house colors'  
** **(fred, micah)  
** _3:17pm_

 **fred:** hey, did you still want me to fuck with your muggle thing?

 **micah:** my cell phone?  
 **micah:** yes

 **fred:** i can come by after the greengrass party tonight if you want

 **micah:** sure  
 **micah:** how's vic? you should tell her to tag along if she wants

 **fred:** i think she might be doing something with g

 **micah:** I mean, he can come too

 **fred:** I'll ask them

 **micah:** how'd things with teddy go last night?

 **fred:** i think okay? we talked after she got home but she didn't say that much about teddy tbh

 **micah:** huh  
 **micah:** that's… odd

 **fred:** yeah  
 **fred:** idk

* * *

 **'a gryffindor and a slytherin stage an intervention'  
** **(g.dedworth, fred)  
** _4:02pm_

 **g.dedworth:** i hate you

 **fred:** uh-huh

 **g.dedworth:** i mean, thanks  
 **g.dedworth:** but i know you have that smug look on your face so also i hate you

 **fred:** I don't have a smug look!

 **g.dedworth:** oh my fucking god fred  
 **g.dedworth:** are you being serious right now?

 **fred:** I actually was  
 **fred:** do i seriously have a smug look??

 **g.dedworth:** yes  
 **g.dedworth:** you get it whenever you think you're right about something that other people haven't picked up on  
 **g.dedworth:** and i mean, often you have  
 **g.dedworth:** but you're not right here  
 **g.dedworth:** i meant what i said before  
 **g.dedworth:** i don't want to date vic  
 **g.dedworth:** it'd be a really bad idea

 **fred:** … but fucking her is somehow different?

 **g.dedworth:** we didn't fuck last night  
 **g.dedworth:** we're not going to tonight either

 **fred:** I mean, okay, yeah, technically  
 **fred:** but now that i've gotten the whole story from her, i'm calling it a technicality

 **g.dedworth:** what whole story??? we genuinely didn't fuck  
 **g.dedworth:** most of our clothes stayed on

 **fred:** ughhhh i hate having to say this and i hope to fuck saying it doesn't make me visualize it, but  
 **fred:** gallagher, you were both completely sober, half-naked, and had your hands down each other's trousers  
 **fred:** then you got each other off  
 **fred:** like, okay, yeah, technically you didn't  
 **fred:** but once people start taking off their clothes and coming, you're kind of parsing  
 **fred:** yes thank fuck, no visualization

 **g.dedworth:** i mean, she kissed me, i didn't initiate it  
 **g.dedworth:** look, i know she's got a thing for teddy  
 **g.dedworth:** i know that she doesn't have a thing for me  
 **g.dedworth:** and i don't have a thing for her  
 **g.dedworth:** it's not something i really think about or anything

 **fred:** okay

 **g.dedworth:** and i mean, i told her i'd help her get together with teddy  
 **g.dedworth:** and i couldn't break that promise

 **fred:** okay

 **g.dedworth:** i feel like you're really not listening to me here

 **fred:** say something worth listening to and maybe i will

* * *

 **(g.dedworth, micah)  
** _6:01pm_

 **micah:** were you and vic going to come by with fred tonight?

* * *

 **'a gryffindor and a slytherin stage an intervention'  
** **(g.dedworth, fred)  
** _6:03pm_

 **g.dedworth:** micah invited us over??

 **fred:** yeah, didn't bother to tell you bc I figured you wouldn't be interested  
 **fred:** was I wrong?

 **g.dedworth:** no  
 **g.dedworth:** (about this specifically, that's not a blanket statement)

* * *

 **(g.dedworth, micah)  
** _6:06pm_

 **g.dedworth:** probably not  
 **g.dedworth:** this is gonna sound ridiculous but i think we're gonna try to get a start on our holiday assignments

 **micah:** jfc  
 **micah:** how much work did you guys get??

 **g.dedworth:** a lot

 **micah:** good luck

 **g.dedworth:** thanks

* * *

 **(lizzzz, micah)  
** _8:48pm_

 **micah:** testing 123

 **lizzzz:** can anybody hear me?  
 **lizzzz:** i never had to spend a summer planting trees

 **micah:** i never worked my way through a forest inch by inch  
 **micah:** all my stuff's completely natural

 **lizzzz:** and when we're done we'll boil em down for glue

 **micah:** now fred thinks we're insane

 **lizzzz:** wait why??? they have music too  
 **lizzzz:** it's not like you only know what music is bc you're not a real wizard  
 **micah:** liz i am literally a wizard  
 **lizzzz:** i mean okay  
 **lizzzz:** but not a real one  
 **lizzzz:** from like a proper wizard family  
 **lizzzz:** like the fred and his hot cousin  
 **lizzzz:** i thought you said she might be coming

 **micah:** she's working on schoolwork with our friend gallagher

 **lizzzz:** hahahaha "schoolwork"  
 **lizzzz:** it's christmas eve and you just got home  
 **lizzzz:** no way, they're probably hooking up or something

 **micah:** there's actually a funny story about that i'll tell you later  
 **micah:** but liz mum is literally a witch

 **lizzzz:** and ma is fucking geneticist  
 **lizzzz:** and you have a _cell phone  
_ **lizzzz:** and the only reason you don't bring it to school is that it broke the first time you tried and ma told you she wasn't replacing it again

 **micah:** doesn't make me not a wizard

 **lizzzz:** {undeliverable}  
 **lizzzz:** fuckkk supposed to be the yeah okay jlaw gif  
 **lizzzz:** fred should put gifs and emojis on your thing

 **micah:** but then i'd have to explain what those are

 **lizzzz:** ohhh come back in here i'll explain it  
 **lizzzz:** i think we can say testing has been successful

* * *

 **'our greatness transcends house colors'  
** **(fred, micah)  
** _10:17pm_

 **micah:** thanks again  
 **micah:** this is really great

 **fred:** np

 **micah:** although funny story  
 **micah:** i dunno if you saw but liz was joking that vic and g were hooking up bc nobody would be doing schoolwork on christmas eve  
 **micah:** which i thought was fucking hilarious

 **fred:** hahaha yeah

 **fred:** my jokes are so contagious they share themselves

* * *

 **'it's not technically against the rules'  
** **(fred, vic)  
** _11:46pm_

 **vic:** i just got home

 **fred:** now???

 **vic:** yeah

 **fred:** ….. and?

 **vic:** well  
 **vic:** i told him i wanted to keep doing this  
 **vic:** he was really surprised  
 **vic:** but then he said he wanted to  
 **vic:** i really like kissing him  
 **vic:** i think i really kind of like him actually

 **fred:** yeah, i noticed  
 **fred:** i mean, i only noticed 12 hours ago  
 **fred:** but i think it still counts, bc i knew before anyone else

 **vic:** you did  
 **vic:** it counts  
 **vic:** you're the best cousin ever

 **fred:** i know

* * *

 **'a gryffindor and a slytherin stage an intervention'  
** **(g.dedworth, fred)  
** _11:57pm_

 **fred:** so

 **g.dedworth:** oh my god fred fuck off  
 **g.dedworth:** i mean, not actually  
 **g.dedworth:** and yes, you were right  
 **g.dedworth:** but fuck off

 **fred:** can't fuck off  
 **fred:** i love being told i'm right too much

 **g.dedworth:** FINE  
 **g.dedworth:** yes, you were right

December 25, 2016

_12:10am_

**g.dedworth:** … so did you guys really ditch teddy?

 **fred:** yup  
 **fred:** love that she worked that into the conversation though

 **g.dedworth:** like, seriously??

 **fred:** yup  
 **fred:** he was pretty put out by it  
 **fred:** and by how obsessed she was with looking at her tablet the whole time we were there

 **g.dedworth:** she was????

 **fred:** yup

 **g.dedworth:** bc of me??

 **fred:** yup

 **g.dedworth:** seriously???

 **fred:** yup  
 **fred:** still want it to be a one time thing and have no interest in dating her?

 **g.dedworth:** fred for the love of fuck  
 **g.dedworth:** one of my best friends just told me that she basically wanted to hook up with me indefinitely  
 **g.dedworth:** i said yes because once it was an option i realized i really, really fucking wanted to  
 **g.dedworth:** i've got some shit to process

 **fred:** :)

 **g.dedworth:** the fuck is that supposed to mean??

 **fred:** it's a smiley face  
 **fred:** i learned it from micah and his sister

 **g.dedworth:** you are the worst  
 **g.dedworth:** and also thank you

* * *

 **'i'm just a girl (with a half-wizard brother)'  
** **(lizzzz, micah)  
** _12:53am_

 **lizzzz:** say something  
 **lizzzz:** anything

 **micah:** test 1 2 3

 **lizzzz:** … anything but that

 **micah:** this is weird

 **lizzzz:** it's weird

 **micah:** very weird

 **lizzzz:** fucking weird

 **micah:** i'm so mad that i don't know what to do

 **lizzzz:** fighting with microphones

 **micah:** freezing down to my bones

 **lizzzz:** and to top it all off i'm with you  
 **lizzzz:** … okay wait so are you seriously just doing this from your tablet??

 **micah:** :)

 **lizzzz:** okay, you know what?  
 **lizzzz:** for something fred came up with and figured out completely on his own  
 **lizzzz:** that's actually really fucking cool  
 **lizzzz:** although aren't you lot not supposed to do magic outside of school?

 **micah:** he said they wouldn't notice  
 **micah:** i dunno, i wasn't gonna question him  
 **micah:** he liked the typing on my phone  
 **micah:** he said he wanted to try to replicate it

 **lizzzz:** yesssss  
 **lizzzz:** see  
 **lizzzz:** bringing the muggle stuff to wizards  
 **lizzzz:** you're not a real wizard

 **micah:** omfg liz

 **lizzzz:**

**micah:** HOW DO THOSE SHOW UP

 **lizzzz:** yeet

**lizzzz:**

**micah:** omfg im going to sleep

 **micah:** haaaate you

 **lizzzz:**


	6. december 28, 2016 - january 1, 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fred: i am no longer the best fucking cousin in the world  
> fred: i'm relinquishing the title

__The following are a series of messages exchanged between Fred Weasley, Gallagher Dedworth, Juliet Vales, Lexy Abbott, Micah Higgins, and Victoire Weasley using Protean charm tablets that Fred made because he's a genius._ They were exchanged between 1:43pm on December 28 and 11:20am on January 1.  
_

December 28, 2016

 **(g.dedworth, LexA, micah, vic)  
** _1:43pm_

 **vic:** hey, guys  
 **vic:** so i was thinking

 **g.dedworth:** never a good sign

 **micah:** I don't know how to respond here  
 **micah:** my curiosity is warring with my humor

 **LexA:** I'm more curious  
 **LexA:** what's up, Vic?

_1:51pm_

**micah:** uh, vic?  
 **micah:** your thought?

_1:58pm_

**vic:** sorry  
 **vic:** i threw a pillow at g  
 **vic:** and he protested  
 **vic:** (he's over here working on our defense assignments)

 **g.dedworth:** i'm very fragile  
 **g.dedworth:** even a pillow could break me into a million pieces  
 **g.dedworth:** you don't care about my well-being at all

* * *

 **'the truly sensible ones'  
** **(LexA, micah)  
** _2:00pm_

 **LexA:** I know that it's not actually a thing, but do you think they're even aware of how this comes across??

 **micah:** i'm very certain that they're not  
 **micah:** it's pretty ridiculous  
 **micah:** if teddy lupin doesn't get a move on, they're gonna get really drunk one day and end up in a hotel room together or something  
 **micah:** i'm only like 85% joking

 **LexA:** oh, I know

* * *

 **(g.dedworth, LexA, micah, vic)  
** _2:07pm_

 **LexA:** Vic, stop throwing pillows at him  
 **LexA:** I don't care if he deserves it  
 **LexA:** what's your thought?

 **vic:** sorry, he keeps distracting me

 **LexA:** GALLAGHER

 **micah:** are you helping or hindering each other on the assignments at this point?

 **g.dedworth:** now she's thrown her stuffed penguin at me  
 **g.dedworth:** it's cute, maybe i should just keep it

 **LexA:** what an adorable dysfunctional couple you two make

 **micah:** g, how's that foot fetish you were joking about doing?

* * *

 **' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _2:18pm_

 **g.dedworth:** i know micah means 'shut the fuck up or we'll start bothering you about whether you were fucking again'  
 **g.dedworth:** but i could tell him that i've discovered that my actual fetish is much more mundane and predictable

 **vic:** g, using this in case my sister is still out on the landing listening to us doesn't help if you're making me giggle out of seemingly nowhere

 **g.dedworth:** good point  
 **g.dedworth:** i dunno, does liking your boobs even count as a fetish? don't most people like boobs?

 **vic:** uhhh  
 **vic:** i mean, i've got limited experience  
 **vic:** but i'm comfortable saying that you like them even more than most people

 **g.dedworth:** i wasn't so obsessed before you started taking off your shirt  
 **g.dedworth:** VIC that's not fucking fair i fucking hate you  
 **g.dedworth:** please let me play with them and finger you

 **vic:** fuck, yes  
 **vic:** wait, we should finish this conversation first  
 **vic:** but go lock the door

* * *

 **(g.dedworth, LexA, micah, vic)  
** _2:29pm_

 **vic:** sorry  
 **vic:** he's being a dick

* * *

 **' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _2:31pm_

 **g.dedworth:** i mean  
 **g.dedworth:** if you want to start talking about my dick

 **vic:** g, we gotta stop or we're going to forget to switch over and send something real incriminating to the whole group

 **g.dedworth:** ughhh  
 **g.dedworth:** i see your point  
 **g.dedworth:** fine, i'll keep my commentary physical

 **vic:** aren't you glad i wore a skirt today?

 **g.dedworth:** i need to fuck you in the potions classroom in that skirt

 **vic:** oh fuck  
 **vic:** yes please

 **g.dedworth:** oh right, we were stopping

 **vic:** <3

* * *

 **(g.dedworth, LexA, micah, vic)  
** _2:42pm_

 **g.dedworth:** sorry  
 **g.dedworth:** i have promised to behave myself  
 **g.dedworth:** and keep that foot fetish under control

 **LexA:** Gallagher, I will kill you  
 **LexA:** stop being a dick

 **vic:** okay so, i had a thought  
 **vic:** you know how we're planning to have that new year's thing at g's?

 **LexA:** yes

 **micah:** what about it?

 **vic:** well  
 **vic:** so hear me out  
 **vic:** how would you feel about inviting juliet?

 **micah:** um

 **LexA:** ughhhhh  
 **LexA:** Gallagher?

 **g.dedworth:** she threw things at me until i agreed  
 **g.dedworth:** i mean, she made a persuasive argument

 **micah:** what'd she throw now, the otter?

 **g.dedworth:** no, just glared  
 **g.dedworth:** in all seriousness though - i mean, juliet's not that bad  
 **g.dedworth:** and fred's really been missing her

 **LexA:** ughhhhh  
 **LexA:** this isn't even about - whatever  
 **LexA:** I just genuinely find her irritating

* * *

 **'the truly sensible ones'  
** **(LexA, micah)  
** _2:58pm_

 **micah:** I don't really mind it, but I don't want you to feel ganged up on  
 **micah:** should I dig in my heels? I don't mind, it's totally fine

 **LexA:** no  
 **LexA:** it's a good idea from her, tbh  
 **LexA:** I just ughhhh

 **micah:** fair

* * *

 **(g.dedworth, LexA, micah, vic)  
** _3:02pm_

 **LexA:** it's fine with me if you can convince her parents  
 **LexA:** he definitely has been missing her  
 **LexA:** we should surprise him, though

 **micah:** yeah, I'm good with it  
 **micah:** nobody say anything to him, though

 **vic:** <3 thanks, guys

 **LexA:** good luck  
 **LexA:** you're going to need it

* * *

 **' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _3:10pm_

 **g.dedworth:** good job convincing them to do it  
 **g.dedworth:** but you're fucking killing me right now  
 **g.dedworth:** you're such a fucking tease

_3:46pm_

**vic:** you had it coming

 **g.dedworth:** yes  
 **g.dedworth:** i did

 **vic:** make me come again

* * *

December 30, 2016

 **(g.dedworth, LexA, micah, vic)  
** _3:09pm_

 **vic:** her parents said yes

 **LexA:** holy shit  
 **LexA:** how the fuck did you pull that off?

 **vic:** they like me  
 **vic:** long story  
 **vic:** i'm so excited rn

 **LexA:** tbh, so am I  
 **LexA:** he's going to be so thrilled

 **micah:** vic, seriously, though, how the fuck did you pull that off???

* * *

 **' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _3:17pm_

 **g.dedworth:** get a slytherin's dick in you a dozen times and suddenly you're a mastermind

 **vic:** want to see what happens when it's more than a dozen times?  
 **vic:** i could come over early

 **g.dedworth:** oh please fuck yes

 **vic:** if we have to spend six or seven hours pretending that this is still a totally innocent friendship, i think i'm going to need you to fuck me really thoroughly first

 **g.dedworth:** i miss you so much right now

 **vic:** saaaame <3

* * *

December 31, 2016

 **'we get away more often than not but are somehow still always in detention'  
** **(LexA, micah, fred, vic, g.dedworth)  
** _2:31pm_

 **fred:** hey, so what time tonight?

 **g.dedworth:** 6-6:30ish?

 **micah:** should i bring anything?

 **g.dedworth:** just yourself  
 **g.dedworth:** and your feet  
 **g.dedworth:** want to do some comparisons

 **LexA:** why are we friends

 **fred:** i mean

 **LexA:** good point  
 **LexA:** never mind

 **micah:** do you want pictures and references, gallagher, or just my feet themselves?

 **LexA:** why, Micah  
 **LexA:** why

 **fred:** he's already examined and rejected my feet  
 **fred:** he said they're too big

 **micah:** if you're looking for small feet, vic's the clear winner  
 **micah:** are you just getting our hopes up when you know you'll reject us?

 **g.dedworth:** you miss every goal you don't throw

 **LexA:** where is Vic, anyway? usually she'd have chimed in right now with something

 **g.dedworth:** dunno

* * *

 **'we're just animated'  
** **(fred, vic, g.dedworth)  
** _2:50pm_

 **fred:** vic, you're already there, aren't you?

 **g.dedworth:** yep

 **fred:** do i want to know why she's not answering herself?

 **g.dedworth:** probably not

 **fred:** ughhhh

 **g.dedworth:** oh my god gallagher  
 **g.dedworth:** it's me  
 **g.dedworth:** i'm answering bc my tablet's on the couch and i'm just too lazy to go get it  
 **g.dedworth:** it's not sexual like he's implying

 **fred:** … vic, if you're too lazy to get it bc you're naked in his bed, it's sexual

 **g.dedworth:** she handed it back to me  
 **g.dedworth:** she is indeed naked in my bed

 **fred:** this is not a mental image i ever wanted or needed

 **g.dedworth:** vic says she sympathizes, given how many times she's overheard your girlfriend talk about how your various body parts feel inside her

 **fred:** …….. oof  
 **fred:** how many times has that happened???

 **g.dedworth:** it's not zero  
 **g.dedworth:** anyway, we'll see you in a few hours

* * *

 **'scoring with fred and jules'  
** **(fred, juliet)  
** _5:48pm_

 **fred:** hey, jules  
 **fred:** heading out to g's soon  
 **fred:** and i just wanted to say that i miss you and wish i was with you right now

 **juliet:** awwww  
 **juliet:** i miss you, too  
 **juliet:** i wanna spend new year's with you

 **fred:** me, too :(  
 **fred:** i love you - have fun at your family thing

 **juliet:** i love you, too!!!

* * *

January 1, 2017

 **'it's not technically against the rules'  
** **(fred, vic)  
** _12:53am_

 **fred:** seriously, vic  
 **fred:** you are the best fucking cousin in the entire world  
 **fred:** i fucking love you  
 **fred:** thank you so fucking much, i don't know how the fuck you pulled that off

 **vic:** happy new year, fred <3

 **fred:** seriously  
 **fred:** i am no longer the best fucking cousin in the world  
 **fred:** i'm relinquishing the title  
 **fred:** have fun staying over at g's, just wanted to say that

 **vic:** seriously, fred  
 **vic:** it's okay  
 **vic:** don't worry about it

* * *

 **'happy new year, jules <3'  
** **(fred, juliet)  
** _1:02am_

 **fred:** i am so, so, so happy you came

 **juliet:** me too  
 **juliet:** i didn't offend vic when i told her that i thought gallagher had a crush on her, did i?  
 **juliet:** it just really seems like he does  
 **juliet:** he just kept staring at her

 **fred:** nah, i know you didn't offend her  
 **fred:** it's good food for thought, haha  
 **fred:** how the fuck did she pull it off, though???

 **juliet:** ohhhh  
 **juliet:** well, so, my parents know vic - all the ravenclaw girls usually get together at my house once or twice a summer, so, like, they've met her  
 **juliet:** and they really really like her because she always offers to help my mom with snacks or whatever

 **fred:** wait  
 **fred:** what????  
 **fred:** seriously????  
 **fred:** vic?????

 **juliet:** she gets tired of the gossip  
 **juliet:** and this summer was especially bad because i was kind of talking about you a lot  
 **juliet:** i didn't mean to i just wasn't really thinking about it

 **fred:** ohhhhhhhhh  
 **fred:** now it makes so much more sense

 **juliet:** and my mum is never sure whether her "i don't like gossip" is just a polite way to saying it's not a big deal or if she actually doesn't like gossip, but either way, my mum loves that  
 **juliet:** and this summer i guess she said something about how a lot of girls like her cousin fred, which was fine and all but it was really weird for her to be around for

 **fred:** ohhhhhhhh  
 **fred:** yeah i see where this is going

 **juliet:** so when she showed up at my door a few days ago - like the house door, she floo-ed back but her dad dropped her off, she said she felt weird knocking on someone's kitchen door  
 **juliet:** which my parents also loved  
 **juliet:** and she was basically like "you keep having me over and i haven't had you over, i'm having this little new year's party and i wanted to invite you"  
 **juliet:** and my parents started asking about details and who would be there  
 **juliet:** and she was like, "well, my cousin fred, of course - i know he'd love it if you came - and our friend micah from ravenclaw, my friend lexy abbott, and my friend gallagher dedworth - it's going to be at his place"  
 **juliet:** and my dad was like "oh - any relation to" whichever brother, i can't remember  
 **juliet:** and vic was like, "yeah, he's his little brother - that's why we're having it there, he's the youngest so there's more space even though his siblings are all home for the holidays, they said that as long as we stay downstairs and we're pretty quiet they're fine with it"  
 **juliet:** and i guess my dad had heard something about that from gallagher's brother so he knew she was telling the truth about that, and my mum remembered what she said about you way before we were even dating and figured that it meant that we wouldn't be on top of each other

 **fred:** HA

 **juliet:** yeah i know  
 **juliet:** and… yeah  
 **juliet:** so they talked about it and decided that it was a good way to let me do something so i'd stop whining at them without it leaving us, like, unsupervised

 **fred:** HA

 **juliet:** yeah i know haha  
 **juliet:** that was fun  
 **juliet:** i like your bed a lot

 **fred:** fuck, that couldn't have gone better if she'd planned it

 **juliet:** yeah  
 **juliet:** but i know she didn't

 **fred:** no, there's no way she could've known  
 **fred:** wow  
 **fred:** thank fuck goldstein never wrote home about the dormitory thing  
 **fred:** doubt they'd trust her then

 **juliet:** haha yeah

 **fred:** fuck, i'm falling asleep but thank you so much for coming  
 **fred:** it was so great to see you

 **juliet:** thanks for being so good at making me come

 **fred:** oh my god i can't believe i missed that  
 **fred:** i love you so much

 **juliet:** <3 <3 I love you too, thank you so so much

* * *

 **'we get away more often than not but are somehow still always in detention'  
** **(fred, g.dedworth, LexA, micah, vic)  
** _11:17am_

 **fred:** seriously, guys  
 **fred:** thanks so fucking much  
 **fred:** you are the best friends in the entire fucking world


	7. january 2, 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vic: do you want to know what i'd do if i was there?

___the following are a series of messages exchanged between gallagher dedworth and victoire weasley using protean charm tablets that fred made because he's a genius. t_ hey were exchanged between 12:58am and 2:36am on January 2._ _

_please note that this has some pretty explicit sexting. if that makes you uncomfortable, you should skip it._

* * *

**' <3'  
** **(g.dedworth, vic)  
** _12:58am_

**g.dedworth:** you know, a few weeks ago, i thought i'd be happy to go back to school  
 **g.dedworth:** but i didn't think it would be because i missed fucking you

 **vic:** it'll be harder to find places

 **g.dedworth:** well, i'm guessing that i'll be hard enough to get creative

 **vic:** oh my god g  
 **vic:** that was deeply terrible

 **g.dedworth:** the real question is, are you fucking me despite that or because of it?

 **vic:** because of it

 **g.dedworth:** huh  
 **g.dedworth:** i mean, obviously it's true  
 **g.dedworth:** but i thought you'd at least try to deny it

 **vic:** there's no way to ignore how deeply terrible you can be  
 **vic:** i'm just gonna keep embracing it the way i have for more than five years  
 **vic:** it's worked out well for me so far

 **g.dedworth:** aw, sweetie  
 **g.dedworth:** i'm so touched  
 **g.dedworth:** … i think

 **vic:** go with being touched  
 **vic:** then i can help

 **g.dedworth:** that was also deeply terrible  
 **g.dedworth:** which somehow makes me really want to fuck you

 **vic:** aw, baby  
 **vic:** i'm so touched  
 **vic:** literally, so tell me more

 **g.dedworth:** oh my fucking god victoire  
 **g.dedworth:** are you serious?

 **vic:** yep

 **g.dedworth:** fuck, that mental image  
 **g.dedworth:** i wish you were here  
 **g.dedworth:** what are you wearing?

 **vic:** i just took my underwear off, so nothing

 **g.dedworth:** oh my fucking god vic

 **vic:** tell me more

 **g.dedworth:** fuck  
 **g.dedworth:** when we get back to school, i want to fuck you in the library  
 **g.dedworth:** i keep thinking about pushing up your skirt and yanking down your underwear just enough to get inside you  
 **g.dedworth:** like i did at the floo before you went home today

 **vic:** i feel like we should really do it in the greenhouses, too  
 **vic:** that's where this whole thing started, right?

 **g.dedworth:** oh, fuck, yes

 **vic:** do you want to sneak into the greenhouses with me after hours  
 **vic:** and then watch me drop to my knees?

 **g.dedworth:** oh, please fuck yes

 **vic:** i want you to come in my mouth again  
 **vic:** i like tasting you  
 **vic:** do you like it when i swallow your come?

 **g.dedworth:** fuck, yes  
 **g.dedworth:** god fucking damnit  
 **g.dedworth:** vic, i'm so fucking hard for you right now  
 **g.dedworth:** i need to be inside of you

 **vic:** are you touching yourself while you think about that?

 **g.dedworth:** yes  
 **g.dedworth:** i want to push you up against a wall and touch you  
 **g.dedworth:** i want to play with your clit as i slide my fingers in and out of you

 **vic:** you want to push me up against a wall, huh?

 **g.dedworth:** i mean  
 **g.dedworth:** is that okay?

 **vic:** yes  
 **vic:** very  
 **vic:** tell me more

 **g.dedworth:** i want you to tease me until i lose my fucking mind and shove you against a wall  
 **g.dedworth:** and slide into you and finger you  
 **g.dedworth:** and once you come, fuck you hard and fast

 **vic:** fuck

 **g.dedworth:** i love watching you play with yourself while i fuck you  
 **g.dedworth:** i want to sneak into the alchemy classroom and go down on you  
 **g.dedworth:** i mean, i won't be able to focus on anything for weeks  
 **g.dedworth:** but it'll be worth it

 **vic:** please don't stop  
 **vic:** fuck  
 **vic:** gallagher, please

 **g.dedworth:** fucking fuck, vic  
 **g.dedworth:** i would give fucking anything to have you here right now  
 **g.dedworth:** i love making you come when i'm inside of you  
 **g.dedworth:** it feels so fucking good  
 **g.dedworth:** i need you  
 **g.dedworth:** i need to play with you  
 **g.dedworth:** i need you moaning underneath me  
 **g.dedworth:** begging me to make you come  
 **g.dedworth:** and begging me to keep going once you do

 **vic:** oh my fucking god that felt so fucking good

 **g.dedworth:** you know, i thought i couldn't get more turned on right now  
 **g.dedworth:** apparently, i was wrong

 **vic:** do you want to know what i want to do with you?

 **g.dedworth:** fuck  
 **g.dedworth:** yes  
 **g.dedworth:** please

 **vic:** right now i really want to taste you  
 **vic:** i like blowing you  
 **vic:** i feel like i'll probably be doing it a lot at school

 **g.dedworth:** oh my god vic

 **vic:** it's fun to tease you  
 **vic:** mostly i just need to show you my boobs

 **g.dedworth:** well  
 **g.dedworth:** i mean  
 **g.dedworth:** they're fucking amazing  
 **g.dedworth:** and i love the way you moan and squirm when i play with them

 **vic:** yeah  
 **vic:** it's not hard to get you hard

 **g.dedworth:** vic, that was deeply terrible

 **vic:** <3  
 **vic:** we could go into that back stairwell near your common room  
 **vic:** nobody ever seems to use it  
 **vic:** you could shove me against the wall and i could pull down my shirt  
 **vic:** and you could play with them and kiss me while i fingered myself  
 **vic:** and when i was done, i could get on my knees  
 **vic:** and take you in my mouth  
 **vic:** do you want to feel me moan into you as i suck you?  
 **vic:** do you want to come in my mouth?

 **g.dedworth:** oh my fucking god, vic  
 **g.dedworth:** fuck  
 **g.dedworth:** that wasn't as good as having you here  
 **g.dedworth:** but it was way better than doing it alone

 **vic:** <3  
 **vic:** we can do those things, right?  
 **vic:** like, you haven't changed your mind?

 **g.dedworth:** vic  
 **g.dedworth:** are you fucking kidding me?  
 **g.dedworth:** of course i haven't changed my mind  
 **g.dedworth:** i literally can't think about anything else

 **vic:** okay  
 **vic:** good

 **g.dedworth:** i mean  
 **g.dedworth:** like, i can think about other things  
 **g.dedworth:** like it's not like i don't care about our friendship anymore  
 **g.dedworth:** i love being your friend too

 **vic:** g, i know  
 **vic:** you need to calm down and stop clarifying that  
 **vic:** i know you care about being my friend

 **g.dedworth:** okay  
 **g.dedworth:** good  
 **g.dedworth:** i just - i mean i know i'm kind of obsessed with your boobs  
 **g.dedworth:** and fucking you in general

 **vic:** you're not kind of  
 **vic:** you're very  
 **vic:** but keep going

 **g.dedworth:** okay yeah, very  
 **g.dedworth:** i don't know, i feel like i should be apologizing for it

 **vic:** i guess this is why you had all that repression jo was talking about

 **g.dedworth:** wait, what??

 **vic:** OH  
 **vic:** i never told you  
 **vic:** i was too focused on getting your fingers inside me

 **g.dedworth:** wait, what, at that holiday party??  
 **g.dedworth:** you talked about me being repressed???

 **vic:** omg no  
 **vic:** when you said you were home and we left, fred was like "let's eavesdrop"

 **g.dedworth:** oh

 **vic:** so we did  
 **vic:** oh right, you were right about teddy liking me

 **g.dedworth:** wait, what??

 **vic:** yeah, he literally said it  
 **vic:** not to me, to her  
 **vic:** when we were eavesdropping

 **g.dedworth:** oh

 **vic:** yeah haha  
 **vic:** but she said that i was totally leaving to hook up with you and that you'd been one repressed step from wanting to fuck your hot best friend for years  
 **vic:** then we left  
 **vic:** oh wait, no  
 **vic:** then he was like "i like her a lot" and she was like "so does he, she's great, it's not like you're seeing something nobody else is"  
 **vic:** THEN we left  
 **vic:** g?

 **g.dedworth:** sorry  
 **g.dedworth:** processing

 **vic:** oh fuck  
 **vic:** should i have not said that?  
 **vic:** i'm sorry, i just  
 **vic:** talk sometimes

 **g.dedworth:** no!  
 **g.dedworth:** no, it's fine  
 **g.dedworth:** i'm just processing  
 **g.dedworth:** i don't think you're aware of how much of an info dump that was

 **vic:** fuuuuck  
 **vic:** i'm sorry

 **g.dedworth:** vic, seriously  
 **g.dedworth:** it's fine  
 **g.dedworth:** i'm just kind of processing that you heard the guy you've spent like six months obsessing about explicitly say that he liked you and then left to come be with me anyway

 **vic:** oh  
 **vic:** well, i dunno  
 **vic:** i wanted to come be with you  
 **vic:** he's all weird about it  
 **vic:** and you don't make me feel anxious  
 **vic:** you make me laugh and feel good

 **g.dedworth:** oh

 **vic:** i mean fred said that was a good thing

 **g.dedworth:** oh

 **vic:** i really shouldn't have said that  
 **vic:** fuck  
 **vic:** did i ruin everything?

 **g.dedworth:** no, vic  
 **g.dedworth:** you didn't ruin everything  
 **g.dedworth:** i just sometimes need a minute to process things  
 **g.dedworth:** rather than immediately react and then get anxious afterward about whether my reaction was good  
 **g.dedworth:** that's not meant as a criticism  
 **g.dedworth:** i genuinely appreciate that about you  
 **g.dedworth:** but i'm not like that

 **vic:** okay  
 **vic:** well, did i make everything worse?  
 **vic:** even if i didn't ruin it?

 **g.dedworth:** vic, you are literally the most high-strung person i have ever fucking met

 **vic:** sorry

 **g.dedworth:** i'm so glad you became one of my best friends and then decided to start hooking up with me  
 **g.dedworth:** no, don't apologize  
 **g.dedworth:** it's amazing

 **vic:** oh

 **g.dedworth:** no, you didn't make it worse  
 **g.dedworth:** i just needed a minute to process it  
 **g.dedworth:** if anything, it kind of makes me feel good  
 **g.dedworth:** mostly  
 **g.dedworth:** idk that i love jo pinning me for that, i thought i was hiding it well

 **vic:** well, nobody else noticed  
 **vic:** it's probably just a slytherin thing

 **g.dedworth:** oh

 **vic:** i still feel like i should be apologizing now

 **g.dedworth:** vic, telling me that you ditched teddy to get in bed with me is not something you need to apologize for

 **vic:** okay  
 **vic:** good  
 **vic:** so you still want to keep fucking me after we get to school, though?

 **g.dedworth:** victoire  
 **g.dedworth:** i want to fuck you all over that fucking school  
 **g.dedworth:** and i want to keep cuddling with you and kissing you and everything else that we do these days

 **vic:** okay, good  
 **vic:** i want that too <3

 **g.dedworth:** <3  
 **g.dedworth:** it's late as fuck  
 **g.dedworth:** we should go to sleep  
 **g.dedworth:** i still haven't even finished packing

 **vic:** ughhh yeah i'm really not going to want to get up  
 **vic:** g?

 **g.dedworth:** yeah?

 **vic:** i really, really like you a lot

 **g.dedworth:** i really, really like you a lot too, vic.  
 **g.dedworth:** <3  
 **g.dedworth:** i'll see you in… like, eight hours, haha  
 **g.dedworth:** oops

 **vic:** <3  
 **vic:** night  
 **vic:** good luck packing!

 **g.dedworth:** thanks  
 **g.dedworth:** sleep well

 **vic:** will try  
 **vic:** i'm still naked, by the way

 **g.dedworth:** oh my fucking god victoire

**Author's Note:**

> so this is kind of a companion piece to shenanigans, capers, and hi-jinks, and you can find out more about what they were actually doing there, although i'm super curious whether y'all could pick shit up from context clues


End file.
